Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?

Fav 1 1546 813
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(925): View more from California

2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.

Fav 74 12295 1660
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(937): View more from Ohio

Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it

Fav 39 1039 2915
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

Fav 20 1153 9037
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(316): View more from Kansas

she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

Fav 41 4007 1862
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(651): View more from Minnesota

How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?

Fav 22 5427 1937
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(318): View more from Louisiana

No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.

Fav 10 1693 4103
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(512): View more from Texas

I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things

Fav 0 134 57
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(720): View more from Colorado

I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.

Fav 0 37 16
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