hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
