no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
