hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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