What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
