Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
