Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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