He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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