I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
