The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
