I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
