ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
