about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
