Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just pee around me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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