Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Text me some of your sweat
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
