You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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