i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
