No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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