Will you blow on my dice?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
