i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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