and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
