This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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