so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
