she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
