Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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