Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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