there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just found puke in my bra..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
