and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
