The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
