She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
