Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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