someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
