Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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