His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
How's work?
Spinning.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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