I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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