bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
