this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
