Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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