You work out of a Hotel?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
