I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
