Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
