does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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