she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you win again, gameday.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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