well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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