I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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