Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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