Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry garyuuko hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit

Fav 18 3991 1013
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy

Fav 25 6176 1199
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(718): View more from New York

According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.

Fav 5 2768 985
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day

Fav 15 935 1811
share tweet
(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.

Fav 6 3161 1101
share tweet
(662): View more from Mississippi

Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

Fav 6 1883 1178
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

Fav 6 1311 1957
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.

Fav 1 91 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"

Fav 0 60 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT