You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
