Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms

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(801): View more from Utah

My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.

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(607): View more from New York

I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?

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(601): View more from Mississippi

It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.

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(971): View more from Oregon

Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.

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