Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
