she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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