it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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